Alyssa wants to dance in a crop top. I mean, who doesn’t want to get low without having to make sure you’re wearing a flowy top, or that your pants are pulled up over the god forsaken under bellybutton chub?

This Russian mobster is fierce, and can hold her own in a boxing ring. She’s got pretty great self control too… unless there’s a baguette involved.

Often referred to as “the short one” of the three, she is of average height. And what she lacks in above average height, she more than makes up for in death stares and intense giddy laughter.

She’s stronger than she looks, and will probably kick your a$$ if you say anything bad about cats.


“When I grow up, I want to be a WWE Diva. Or a cat.”

– Alyssa


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