Category Archives: Random

Empty Washrooms Are a Girl’s Best Friend

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We’re going to stray from the usual topics for a moment and get honest.

For our entire lives, women have been told to be ashamed of bodily functions. It’s not lady like for our bodies to work the way they’re supposed to – and we’ll go to some hilariously extreme measures to ensure everyone thinks our buttholes are sewn up tight with a silky pink ribbon. Even to each other.

I’ve talked to guys about this. They do not do these things. Some to a degree, but they are nowhere near as neurotic as we are.

When you’re in public and have to go, it’s stressful. You don’t want anyone to hear you, and you definitely don’t want anyone to realize how long you’re gone.

Maybe you pretend you got a phone call! That’s a good one. Or at least look at your phone as you’re walking out so it looks like you might make a phone call.

Entering the bathroom is a crucial moment. Maybe you listen at the door to see if someone is in there…

One of two things is about to happen:
1) You’re going to be so happy no one is in there and rush to a stall (probably the furthest one) and try to get it over with before anyone else comes in. OR

2) There will be one or three people in there and your heart will sink. Now, you have 4 options. All equally crazy.

a. Leave. (Not a great option. You’ll look crazy (which you’re not!) and everyone will probably know what just happened)

b. Pull the “I’m just here to wash my hands”, then leave. Viable option.

c. Implement a. or b. and try another washroom if you have that luxury. (Hello, 9th floor washroom at my office.)

d. VERY slowly make your way to your carefully selected stall. VERY slowly undo your pants etc. and then wait it out. You can try and only pee, but that’s risky.

Now you’re all alone. Maybe you need to double check with a quick shoe check. You’re trying to get this over with quickly. Everyone probably has a stopwatch out and knows how long you’ve been gone and thinks you’re so gross for digesting food. Then, oh no, someone walks in. STOP EVERYTHING! Now we’re not fooling ourselves, we know they know what’s happening. There is girl bathroom etiquette. You get super quiet (but not too quiet, you don’t want them thinking they’re alone…). You could even try lifting your feet so they don’t know who it is (especially if you’re sporting flashy shoes)… but again, they may think they’re alone. If you’re right in the middle and there is just no stopping it, there are a few things you can do:

1) toilet paper in the bowl as a little poo cushion

2) a good strong cough

3) maybe you need to blow your nose?

4) the classic, perfectly timed flush

Now let’s talk about the girl that just walked in. If you know there is someone in the stall holding back for your sake, you best be hustling. You pee as quick as you can and you get out of there. If you have to go too, go back to entering the bathroom and skip d. This bathroom is taken. I swear to god, if you are fixing your makeup, I will end you. I can see your shoes.

Once you’re done, if someone has entered the bathroom, you quietly get your toilet paper (so no one hears that you need more than a pee’s worth). You wash your hands, and you get the eff out of there.

When you re-enter society, don’t forget to pretend that you just got off the phone.

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Just Do It

ac·count·a·bil·i·ty                                                                                                                           noun: accountability                                                                                                                                        1. The fact or condition of being accountable; responsibility.

“It is not only what we do, but also what we do not do for which we are accountable.” – Moliere.

I’ve been realizing success does not come to you, you go to it. This is a fairly easy concept to understand… much harder to execute. I have also decided that I need to be held accountable for my actions (and mostly, my inactions).

I don’t know what it is, but I seem to have this perpetual habit of quitting. I am a quitter. All talk. Unrealistic about my goals in comparison to the amount of effort I am actually willing to put in at times. I get on a roll and right before I am about to breakthrough that plateau… I stop. I am not completely defeated, I do reach goals – just very inconsistently.

I think that I thought that I would suddenly find something that motivated me, a muse if you will. I want to inspire people, and to feel inspired! So how do I do it? How do I stop letting myself down? How do I stay on track and not give up on my dreams and goals when things get tough? How do I stay ACCOUNTABLE? First thing’s first… let go. I am an emotional woman. I let things get me down and they literally get the best of me, so this is my first challenge – Let go of the guilt, the bad day I had, my relationships with others, the way I feel when I give up on myself, etc. Just. Let. Go. OK, check.

“The right thing to do and the hard thing to do are usually the same.” ― Steve Maraboli.

There are so many reasons not to do something. It is often too tempting to make excuses and take the easy way out. I know firsthand this “easy way” is not all it’s cracked up to be. Nobody feels good when they’re not in shape or living a healthy lifestyle. I understand it is a journey, and you learn and become stronger along the way. I love the journey, but I am ready to break this pattern and reach that peak. I know it will make all the difference, in every single aspect of my life.

VISIONBOARD

So here are some tips I will be incorporating into my life; some I have used before – and they work for me, and some are new things I’m going to start doing;

  • Take measurements:  I do love the scale because for me I know when I am slipping and it’s usually a big wake up call to get me moving. I do know it does the complete opposite for other people. Measurements are a great and effective way to track progress without making you feel badly if you are gaining muscle and the numbers go up.                                        
  • Buy new workout wear:  I don’t know about you, but a new pair of Nikes or workout gear always makes me excited for that next run.
  • Log your Food: Tracking what you are eating on a daily basis is so important. Most of us don’t realize how much we actually eat. When you have to write it down, you will most likely think twice about those bad choices.
  • Visualize your success: I LOVE vision boards. They aren’t for everyone, but I think they are an amazing tool. Make one with all of your favourite pictures, quotes – anything that inspires you, and post it where can see it every morning. Seeing really is believing. ❤
  • Enlist a workout buddy: It is always easier with a friend. It’s science.
  • Hire a trainer: This can be expensive, but they definitely are worth it if it helps you reach your potential.
  • Make time for YOU: Make your workout a priority. Schedule it in your calendar or phone if you have to – It will make the rest of your day much more enjoyable.
  • Sign up: Whether it’s a team or a run, etc. Knowing you have to be ready for something makes you more likely to stay active. I enjoy team sports. You can still workout and have fun at the same time!
  • Challenge yourself and don’t be too hard on yourself:  Allow yourself to make mistakes without feeling completely defeated, and always just keep moving forward.

I know I promised Insanity results, so I am going to deliver. These tips are going to help me get there. Consistency is the key! #DIGDEEP EVERYONE!!

Ash xo

Coo-coo for Coconut Oil

I’ve been using coconut oil (aggressively) for about a year now, and I still find new ways to reap its benefits.  Here’s my top ten list of uses for coconut oil:

 

  1. To cook eggs (whites for me) in. You won’t regret it.
  2. Cut up sweet potato, rub a bit of coconut oil on it, and bake. Delicious.
  3. To cook my protein pancake. Throw a bit on the pan and pour in the pancake mix (egg whites, oats, blueberries, and cinnamon). Heck, cook anything in it.  It’s healthy, smells amazing, and tastes delicious.
  4. Lip gloss. Yup. Lip gloss.
  5. Use a bit in your hair to smooth it out and style the ends.
  6. Leave-in conditioner. Rub a small amount mostly into the ends of your hair, comb through and leave in for about an hour before washing out. So silky and smooooothe.
  7. Use on the skin as a basic lotion.
  8. Popping popcorn! Instead of butter – coat the bottom of the pot with coconut oil  and add just enough kernels to make a single layer over the bottom of the pot.  Shake the pot up a bit, put over medium heat, cover and pop!
  9. Add a teaspoon to your coffee or tea.
  10.  Use it as a makeup remover, or on a sunburn, or even on your pets. It’s magic. Anything goes. Go crazy and enjoy!

 


coconut-oil

 

Alyssa

xoxo

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